Four perky, clueless cheerleaders from the Happy Valley High Hamsters are mistakenly blamed by the meddling Church Ladies for the invasion of the “Internet smut” into their children’s bedrooms. The Church Ladies hire Stephen, a sexually ambiguous teacher from the local Parochial Reform School, to teach the cheerleaders a lesson. But the cheerleaders have more than Stephen to worry about…lurking in the shadows is Mr. X, an evil mastermind who is using the cheerleaders as guinea pigs to test his Internet Zombie Domination software!

Rick Robinson, a law intern, is scheduled to take the bar exam in just four days. Anxious to score points with his boss Mr. McAllister, Rick unwisely agrees to help the man move. The next day, Rick finds himself in a moving van from Miami to Los Angeles, accompanied by McAllister’s spoiled niece and her pet pig.